I thought that once I moved out, that the pain would be replaced with relief. In some ways it has, but the truth is…
I am the target of lifelong retaliation. He uses anything he can grab onto, in order to orchestrate his next attack. Our children, their cars, his attorney, the court system, my friends & family and information gained through loved ones and social media. I must be silent when in earshot of him. Not a lot of people understand the implications of him overhearing “harmless conversation”.
If you are still living within the confines of a controlling relationship/environment, please know that it is possible for you to live well. Limiting contact and communication is key. Though leaving drastically changed my life, it wasn’t until I began “the grey rock method” that I began my healing journey. Check it out at https://blogs.psychcentral.com/unshakeable-calm/2017/11/top-tips-to-stay-calm-with-toxic-people/
Oh, he is still unsafe, but I am converting his hurtful strategies into my own strength. Space is on your side! I used to be afraid of being alone and I still gain energy best from being with the people I love, but I now value my alone time. I can also discern when people are toxic – it is as if they are attempting to drain me of my positive energy – I am grateful that the Holy Spirit resides within me and is always with me! Alone time blesses me with opportunities to connect more deeply with God’s plan.
I moved out three years ago on Valentine’s Day – seems harsh, but it was a blessed Valentine’s Day. One that I will treasure for life!
I have hesitated to tell my story because I do not wish to harm my family by exposing the truth, but I have come to the realization that keeping it in the dark is far more harmful. I pray that if they happen upon this blog, that they are able to find healing in the words they read.
The doggy door still speaks volumes – more on that later!